Peeled Earth and SKY

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Dedication of Merit



This is a traditional Buddhist prayer taught to me by my teacher Cyndi Lee and passed along to her via her guru Gelek Rinpoche. During my first three years of studying Yoga I would recite these words with the rest of my classmates after each asana class. I still recite the words daily. I hope these words reach into you as they have reached into me.

"May all beings have happiness and the causes of happiness,
May all beings be free from suffering and the causes of suffering,
May all beings never be parted from freedom's true joy,
May all beings dwell in equanimity,
free from attachment and aversion." -- Gehlek Rinpoche

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Wandering Vagus (the nerve not the city)



While driving up to teach a class in Corona Del Mar this week I turned on NPR and caught the tail end of a discussion.  A fascinating discussion. A physician and a yoga teacher explain the benefits of deep breathing through the eyes of science.  Their main topic was the function of the vagus nerve, the tenth of twelve cranial nerves that begins in our brain and runs all the way into our colon. Even more impressive than its length is how this nerve effects our bodies. One of the responsibilities of the vagus is to keep the larynx open and to provide the impulse for the lungs and diaphragm to function, all in an effort to....breathe.

The vagus is composed mainly of sensory fibers, in other words, the nerve is a massive communicator to our brain of what is going on in our viscera. Studies have shown that when the vagus is stimulated our sympathetic and parasympathetic nervous system are put into balance. The stress response is stopped. How then do we stimulate this giant nerve?

Seeking stress relief in our crowded lives has become a multimillion dollar industry.  Believe me, I'm in it! Between my organic food, acupuncture, and various forms of body/energy work it can really start to rack up bills.  The good news is, in order to put the brakes on our stress response it's up to us to get comfortable, sit as best as we can right in the middle of our bodies and take a slow deep breath. It's free.

Through practicing Yoga I know the benefits of Ujjayi breathing. After a few minutes of pranayama, my mind becomes more steady, I drop into my body and I feel like my feet are on the floor. As my mind slows I am able to listen to what my body needs in each asana. The breath is the catalyst for, and director of, all movement. Out of Patanjali's eight limbs of Yoga he gives pranayama (breath work) the fourth limb. In my ten years of practicing Yoga the benefits of deep breathing continue to surpass the benefits of my asanas. It is essential to the practice of Yoga.

 Now, there is an art to deep breathing, not to be confused with hyperventilation. Breathing slowly, through your nostrils may seem like nothing, however it can be done incorrectly and lead to adverse effects, like fatigue and dizziness. Make sure that you learn the techniques of deep breathing or Ujjayi breathing with a trusted teacher. I suggest a yoga class or the 'Science of Breath', by Swami Rama.





Monday, November 15, 2010

It Starts Small




On the most basic level Yoga teaches me to listen to my body. What we wake to as we continue to practice is nicely found in this excerpt of the Upanishads.  As we slow down, rest our mind on our breath and move in and out of our asanas (poses)  we begin to train ourselves at a very core level to become the observer.  We retrain our perspective. We watch ourselves in our most gross form, in our bodies.  From this observation stems the ability to observe our personalities with more objectivity.  The sprouting of our awakening.



Watch your thoughts; they become your words.

Watch your words; they become your actions.

Watch your actions; they become your habits.

Watch your habits; they become your character.

Watch your character; for it becomes your destiny.



-Upanishads

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

'Pledge of Allegiance'


Poet Gary Snyder wrote, "I pledge allegiance to the soil, one ecosystem, in diversity, under the sun, with joyful interpenetration for all."

Sunday, October 31, 2010

Art, Meditation and Butoh

Ushio Amagatsu & Sankai Juku - Hibiki



Last night I went to the Irvine Barclay Theatre to watch one of my most favorite dance companies, Sankai Juku, perform Hibiki, Resonance From Far Away. These Japanese artists perform with brilliant stillness and capture the essence of slowing down and waking up the senses which in turn clears the mind and opens our awareness to our surroundings. Their simplicity of movement along with genius stage design and lighting remind us that entertainment does not always have to be so loud.

I struggled at first to stay with their peaceful nuanced gestures. I found myself slipping in and out of meditation while watching this fascinating and abstract performance. The more I could let go of the chatter in my head the more I could feel and understand the work that was in front of me. The performance itself was a moving meditation, forcing the watcher to watch themselves. I watched myself struggle, so badly wanting the performers to move quickly so that I could stay more easily present with them. Much like my Yoga practice, the more I rest my mind on my breath and pull my focus inward the more I feel and understand what I am doing in the asanas (poses). Here in the theatre the more I rested my mind on the movement and stopped fighting the reality of their gentle awkward pace I began to slip away into the story of the performance, no longer struggling with what my mind wanted but truly enjoying the beauty of this moving art work. Challenge yourself, even if you don't know what Butoh is! Take a few moments to open your mind and then rest it on the strange beauty of this dance.

Thursday, September 16, 2010

Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Reflect


Found this photo here


I just read this on Rob Brezsny's FreeWillAstrology.... Thought it was poignant.


"Everyone alive should see the musical comedy "I Love You, You're Perfect, Now Change." At the very least, we should all meditate regularly on the play's title, using it as a self-mocking mantra that dissuades us from committing the folly it describes. How better to serve the health of our relationships than by withdrawing the projections we superimpose on people, thereby allowing them to be themselves? Right now you're in special need of honoring this wisdom, Pisces. If you feel the itch to tell friends and loved ones that they should be different from how they actually are, stop and ask yourself whether maybe you should transform yourself instead."

Saturday, August 21, 2010

Morning Brain


Taos New Mexico.


I often feel like my brain is soft and easy in the morning. My boyfriend and I always laugh about how we love each other more when we first wake up. Why is this? Why is it easier for me to sit and meditate when I rise after a long sleep then at the end of my long day? Do I actually love Ted more in the morning? Does my meditation practice thrive because I am actually still half asleep when I sit pre-cup of coffee? Maybe coffee really is that bad for me.

According to the science of brain plasticity it is not totally the fault of my coffee. This is great news! It has to do with space, the space similar to the sky in Wyoming, open, empty, wide and generous. When we wake up we have taken multiple hours to not speak, read, watch TV or listen to music. We have not made plans, taken on commitments or sat in traffic. We are somewhat empty. Our mind is mostly quiet.

This idea of space refers to our brains -- the mental space to take in information, store and process it. In order to take in new things we must focus over and over again on what we are trying to learn or correct, whether it is changing negative thought patterns or re-aligning an asana. Our brains are malleable, and forever changeable depending on where we focus our attention throughout our lives. With this in mind, I am going to take this space and sit, giving my brain an opportunity to un-clutter so that I might have the chance again today to be a better version of me.

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Personal Practice


Under the Grand Teton


I am often asked how frequently I practice Yoga. As a teacher and a student, I feel like I am always practicing, whether I attend a class, practice at home, or try and be as awake as possible while walking down the street. What practicing means to me is quite different than what it might mean to you. Though we all have the same basic body parts, we are unique. Gary Kraftsow wrote "...we are nonetheless unique in our structural, physiological, and emotional functioning; and though we all have certain deep constitutional tendencies that remain constant, our own condition changes from day to day."

With this in mind, it is time well spent to examine and explore our personal needs in our Yoga practice and life practice. This is an art, the art of personal practice, which lies in the learning and listening to our present condition.

I spent the past week in the mountains. I did not plan on attending a yoga class. I also did not schedule to teach anywhere at anytime during that week. I did however plan to spend as much time in the mountains as possible. While hiking with Ted I found us in long periods of silence. Listening. Smelling. Observing. Allowing our minds to rest and our senses to become awake. It was a most fulfilling practice.

Monday, July 12, 2010

Envite yourself



This is a love poem. I think it is a love poem first for oneself. A process of questioning and looking within at our awareness of our own self love.

The Invitation by Oriah

It doesn’t interest me
what you do for a living.
I want to know
what you ache for
and if you dare to dream
of meeting your heart’s longing.

It doesn’t interest me
how old you are.
I want to know
if you will risk
looking like a fool
for love
for your dream
for the adventure of being alive.

It doesn’t interest me
what planets are
squaring your moon...
I want to know
if you have touched
the centre of your own sorrow
if you have been opened
by life’s betrayals
or have become shrivelled and closed
from fear of further pain.

I want to know
if you can sit with pain
mine or your own
without moving to hide it
or fade it
or fix it.

I want to know
if you can be with joy
mine or your own
if you can dance with wildness
and let the ecstasy fill you
to the tips of your fingers and toes
without cautioning us
to be careful
to be realistic
to remember the limitations
of being human.

It doesn’t interest me
if the story you are telling me
is true.
I want to know if you can
disappoint another
to be true to yourself.
If you can bear
the accusation of betrayal
and not betray your own soul.
If you can be faithless
and therefore trustworthy.

I want to know if you can see Beauty
even when it is not pretty
every day.
And if you can source your own life
from its presence.

I want to know
if you can live with failure
yours and mine
and still stand at the edge of the lake
and shout to the silver of the full moon,
“Yes.”

It doesn’t interest me
to know where you live
or how much money you have.
I want to know if you can get up
after the night of grief and despair
weary and bruised to the bone
and do what needs to be done
to feed the children.

It doesn’t interest me
who you know
or how you came to be here.
I want to know if you will stand
in the centre of the fire
with me
and not shrink back.

It doesn’t interest me
where or what or with whom
you have studied.
I want to know
what sustains you
from the inside
when all else falls away.

I want to know
if you can be alone
with yourself
and if you truly like
the company you keep
in the empty moments.

Monday, June 28, 2010

Monday Morning Thoughts


Photo by Sol Dust Love

As a teacher I attempt to say things more clearly and precisely without killing the effectiveness of what I am trying to articulate. I like the wisdom of Rene Daumal's take on this.

"It is still not enough for language to have clarity and content... it must also have a goal and an imperative. Otherwise from language we descend to chatter, from chatter to babble, and from babble to confusion."

Monday, June 21, 2010

Yoga Mala


Yoga Mala is a practice that Yogis enjoy during each turn of the seasons. Cleansing, challenging, and gratifying, the 108 sun salutations of Yoga Mala allow us to begin the new season with a meditative and awakened state of body and mind. There are many reasons that we practice 108. There are 108 Upanishads, the anciets Vedic texts. There are 108 beads on the Mala prayer bracelets. There were originally 54 sounds in the Sanskrit alphabet, which doubled is 108.

I started practicing Yoga Mala about ten years a go and have been in love with its powerful message ever since. Four times a year I come to my mat and move through Surya Namascar A, the first group of sun salutations in the Ashtanga primary series. I always find the first fifty four to be the most challenging as my mind frantically tells me to stop and do anything but another fifty four sun salutes. As my mind becomes quiet and the flow of my breathing takes over, this practice becomes enchanting, better yet, meditative. For today's summer solstice I will step onto my mat with a student and good friend of mine and we will welcome in summer 108 times!

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Flat Feet


In my afternoon class yesterday was a seemingly aware young woman who informed me that although she heard my suggestion to lift the inner arches of her feet she just couldn't. Really? She had such a lovely body full of potential but her energy died at her feet. She had accepted the base of her body as dead, useless, ugly. Just two pancakes that hang out at the end of her ankles. Her embarrassment towards her malformed feet lived in the rest of her structure. She struggled to find grounding through her legs and stability in her spine. When we cannot connect with our roots it becomes very difficult to adjust and grow. Sadly this is a common response from students when given an adjustment during an advanced Yoga class. The thinking seems to go: why should I feel like I can change such a body structure? I'm well into my thirties, an advanced Yogi, and have already had one surgery.


Again and again I walked over to her and lovingly touch her inner arches to find her flinch every time I got close. She hated her feet. She hated me noticing them. So I decided to love them. Quietly I listened to her tell me why she would not lift them, why it was useless to even try. I decided to agree and instead ask her to lift her inner ankle bones. She gave me an awkward look and then lifted her inner ankles seemingly effortlessly. Attached to her inner ankles were the inner arches of her feet. Her flat collapsed feet followed suit and lifted with her ankles. Amazing. Her feet looked nice! We both smiled and I reminded her throughout class to lift her inner ankles/inner arches and I saw life begin to sprout in her feet and legs and spine.

As Theresa Bertherat writes in ' The Body Has Its Reasons' "... it's never too late to offer your body the time to pause and re-evaluate itself. It requires a little bit of humility, but you're amply rewarded by the joy of moving with grace and precision, of making full, round gestures, of rediscovering all the sensations in a body free at last to live its real life."

Thursday, June 3, 2010

Perspective




Perspective. Through my twenties it was a thing I rarely applied. I was interested in fighting reality and forcing my way through life's ups and downs, allowing each event, each confrontation or hardship, to be swallowed up and stored in my digestive track. Ouch! The lesson each life event would produce, whether negative or positive, would get lost in my attachment to control the outcome.

There are few things in life which are under our control but I strongly believe our perspective is. Epictetus wrote " Our hopes and fears sway us, not events themselves... Authentic happiness is always independent of external conditions..."

Whether sitting with heartbreak, a transition in your career, or moving to a new city, hold close your perspective and the potential lessons that lay brightly beneath the events surface. Expansion is always around the corner!

Sunday, May 23, 2010

A little Sunday Bukowski Poem



I like it... Bukowski has a knack for making his point in such a way that I have to read it twice.... he always makes me think outside of my yoga bubble. Thanks Charles! Enjoy..

Side of the Sun

the bulls are grand as the side of the sun
and although they kill them for the stale crowds,
it is the bull that burns the fire,
and although there are cowardly men,
generally the bull stands pure
and dies pure
untouched by symbols or cliques or false loves,
and when they drag him out
nothing has died
something has passed
and the eventual stench
is the world.

- Charles Bukowski as written in 'Burning in Water Drowning in Flame'

Thursday, May 13, 2010

Joints-Keeping Them Natural


As an athlete and ex dancer I have asked and continue to ask a lot of my joints. For me it started in the knees in my late teens with knee surgery, followed by some shoulder injuries from hitting the sand bar at low tide on fun playful days of surf. A good friend and student of mine, Ben Rubin, is a top notch othropedic surgeon in Newport Beach. If your knee or shoulder gets blown out, Ben is the man you want to fix it. Each time we get together for yoga I think of how he just came from the operating room, probably installing artificial joints. He once asked me why he sees so many yogis with messed up knees and shoulders. He is one of the most committed students I have, practicing yoga five days a week to create space and mobility in his joints. It may be counter intuitive but Ben does not want you to get a knee or shoulder replacement.

Sadly I have watched a generation of Taliban yogis come forward that are either not interested, are bored by, or just don't know that the practice of yoga is to find balance between strong effort and EASE. A type of personality who seeks the push, the sweat and the workout, smashing their bodies into the deepest poses possible to get a sensation and a pair of Madonna arms. Now I admit, I love a good sweat and really can get into an intense practice, and yes, the result of consistently showing up on your mat can create some pretty beautiful arms... however, can we do this without the striving, without the push?

We all have different personalities and therefore different approaches to our bodies and yoga practices. A more fiery personality might need to approach their practice with a touch more grace and ease, while a more complacent personality will need to approach their practice with more energy and effort. One of the most exciting and encouraging gifts our yoga practice gives us is the ability to heal. We can either step onto our mats with aggression, sensation hunting, or, we can have faith that this ancient practice will simply unfold for us. And yes, you can sweat, you can develop some hot arms, and the best part of all, you can heal. I constantly hear myself asking my students to respect their joints, find ease in this part of their structure and they will keep them natural. Preservation... We only get one set of real ones in this lifetime.

Thursday, April 29, 2010

Rest



Often times the most important asana (pose or posture) of the day is savasana (resting pose). For the first 24 years of my life I thought resting was nothing more than a punishment. Only when sick does one choose to lie down in the middle of their day and rest!

As an interested student of yoga I decided to try and open up around this idea of mandatory resting at the end of each yoga class. In my world it was basically five to ten minutes of totally forced space out time. I felt strange lying so still and quiet. The buzz of New York pulsed through me as I tried to ignore the classic jack hammers outside and honking horns aplenty. I would have pretend conversations and food fantasies for each one of those minutes allocated towards 'resting'....Not even the most soothing music could help me escape from the noise outside on the streets of NYC and the noise inside my head... I would count my breaths, I would tap my fingers, I would really try!! And nothing worked.... until I stopped trying. It was only a matter of time before I was able to find deep satisfaction in savasana. Feeling my body become heavy, my breath quiet. The energy of the outside world became white noise and cradled me into deeper rest. With this small amount of rest I was able to find space in my mind, almost a re-boot of my brain and body. Savasana was genius.

So here I am, Thursday evening, eighteen yoga classes taught so far since Monday and I am planning for tomorrow a full day around savasana. I will take a rest between each class. The phone will be off, my computer un-plugged. No, I will not answer the door if you knock, and yes, I will be lying on my floor doing absolutely nothing.

Monday, April 26, 2010

Uncomfortably Close #2


This was just sent to me from a dear friend and teacher.... thanks Heather! Please read slowly, maybe a few times... Enjoy

"We have been put into life as into the element we most accord with, and we have, moreover, through thousands of years of adaptation, come to resemble this life so greatly that when we hold still, through a fortunate mimicry we can hardly be differentiated from everything around us. We have no reason to harbor any mistrust against our world, for it is not against us. If it has terrors, they are our terrors; if it has abysses, these abysses belong to us; if there are dangers, we must try to love them. And if only we arrange our life in accordance with the principle which tells us that we must always trust in the difficult, then what now appears to us as the most alien will become our most intimate and trusted experience. How could we forget those ancient myths about dragons that at the last moment are transformed into princesses? Perhaps all the dragons in our lives are princesses who are only waiting to see us act, just once, with beauty and courage. Perhaps everything that frightens us is in its deepest essence, something helpless that wants our love."--Rainer Maria Rilke, Letters to a Young Poet, #8, translation by Stephen Mitchell

Uncomfortably Close



"Usually we think that brave people have no fear. The truth is that they are intimate with fear." -Pema Chodron as written in 'When Things Fall Apart'

How do we stop and face the things in life that completely freak us out? There are many methods in which we distract ourselves from facing pain and discomfort as there are just as many platforms in which to learn to see and move through them. In the past I personally would love to become as busy as humanly possible so I could successfully ignore the signals my body would send as to not have to deal with the fear of a circumstance, feeling, or some form of reality. The faster I moved the less I felt.

In 2000 I stepped into Om Yoga Center in NYC and began to learn how to slow down. I was taught through the asanas (postures) of yoga to create space, to hold the space, and then let it go. When I use the word 'space', I mean the space in my physical body, which is where I began to face myself first. Feeling a stretch, sitting in the stretch, and then releasing it. This relationship that I was slowly creating between my mind and my body by stepping onto my yoga mat every afternoon became my time to get very close to ME.... or God, or Nature, or whatever you like to call It.

So I think today I will come to my mat! With some fear around my freshly healed back I will practice slowing down and getting close, uncomfortably close.

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Ordinary



".... to be ordinary, because being ordinary in and of itself is an expression of divinity; the truth of one's real self can be discovered through the pathway of everyday life. The commonplace and God aren't distinct." -David R. Hawkins as written in Power Vs. Force

Off to the grocery store.....

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Listening


My lesson in the present moment is to listen... taught to me most recently through my spine.

Last week in my yoga practice, while enjoying the new space in my body that I have so diligently worked on for the past 10 years, I ignored the whispers and indicators that I was moving too deep and rotated my sacrum, impinging my sciatic nerve. For those of you who are new to the body talk just know that it HURT. My body had given me all the signals to not go into another extension (back bend) but instead I pushed up and felt the wrath. Where I thought I had become such an astute listener to my body it appears that my ego had surpassed my listening skills this time..... How does this happen to me? I practice yoga, (in fact I teach this stuff everyday!) I meditate, I eat mindfully.... then I remember... I am human.

My experience with my back bends unfolds a deeper purpose for listening. So often we have signals in our daily lives that although can be seemingly small and easy to overlook, end up being BIG red flags later. Our ability to be sensitive and listen is where our life practice sits.

Monday, April 12, 2010


Peel v.  to strip away, to pull off.

         
    
 I've been told I have tremendous will power. Let me try to will this blog to be a platform for learning and sharing ideas on growth and healing both in the body and in mind.  Here is my experience and perspective as a person, sister, friend, daughter, student and teacher.  Enjoy.