While practicing I like to use the spine as a boney landmark indicating 'center' or middle of my body. While inverted or simply lying on the floor in a gentle twist I can try and use my internal eye to sense this intricate structure and where it is positioned in hope of playing fair with my left side and right side. What blows my mind is the feeling that overcomes the body while doing this. Energy is unlocked. Breath moves more freely. Dare I say that both ida and pingala nadi are able to move more autonomously yet in perfect harmony through sushumna? Perhaps!
Thursday, April 25, 2013
Monday, April 1, 2013
Well..... I'm back.
It feels like several life times a go I started this blog to get my energy out! It wasn't enough to teach 25 Yoga classes a week and, surf, read and play.
Life has drastically changed. Cedar is now 8 months old and the energy abundance I once laughed about as I typed blogs and sipped tea are now poured relentlessly into three things. Cedar, my partner Ted, and teaching. My practice has finally shown up (actual physical Asana) and that is another blog for another time. As for now, here is a little Gil Hedly for inspiration.
"The quest for symmetry of the organism is bound to fail, but balance is here for the taking. Even the earth is only round from a distance. Up close, it's all bumps, dips and waves. So beautiful! And how sweetly it spins, balanced on its axis as it is. Finding our own balance upon it, whether from a distance or up close, we relax into our beautiful asymmetry."
Tuesday, July 10, 2012
Thursday, June 21, 2012
What makes you feel awake, alive? Is it jumping in the ocean, listening to music or sleeping under the stars? Maybe just taking a deep breath is all you need to remember that having been born into a human body is in and of itself magical. I was reminded of this today while walking in my neighborhood. I felt like crap as my big pregnant body tried to make it up a hill so I stopped, took a deep breath and looked out into the trees. The air smelled sweet and the ocean breeze cooled my face. Instantly I was reminded on the genius of being present. I felt alive.
"I don't believe people are looking for the meaning of life as much as they are looking for the experience of being alive." --Joseph Cambell
Saturday, May 26, 2012
Thursday, May 3, 2012
"The easiest way to relax is to stop trying to make things different."
I've never been a women who yearned for her wedding day, or to have a bunch of children and devote my life to raising them. I love to work. I love to be productive. As a young girl my mother tells me I was always 'busy and important'..... I love to explore the human body and uncover it's layers until you hit emotions, energy, spirit. I love to teach and be of service to my students. I love to practice Yoga, surf and hike until my legs want to fall off. This I know.
A few days after Thanksgiving past, I had been sleeping for about ten to twelve hour nights and had frequent indigestion. I kept acting out in strange ways. Buying baby clothes and pillows for our home. Ted was getting worried. I thought maybe I had just hit some sort of nesting phase of my mid thirties. After breakfast I made a decision to buy a pregnancy test even though I was not "late," yet.
Now over six months pregnant I am starting to gain a little perspective. My past struggles have become close friends. It is as though they were preparing me for five months of sickness as my body adjusted to growing a little boy. To be totally truthful, I have struggled with not having my body for my own anymore. It is not mine. It is now simply a tool. I am a mammal that is hosting another life. The intense sickness brought me to me knees, I stopped all physical practice and spent day after day plastered to my couch or my bed. I felt useless. Who am I without my work, without my vibrant body, without my purpose? I began to fight my reality with all my will. As we all know fighting reality is a sad and fruitless fight. The harder I wrestled the sicker I became. I wanted desperately to change my current state. I definitely couldn't run away. Just looking at my Yoga mat made me sick, and surfing was an altogether terrible idea. I had to drop my agenda, I had to either accept that I am changing, my life is changing, I am having a baby and it is hard work to create him, or I was going to slide into some seriousness darkness. It was up to me, as usual!
With the encouragement of my brave partner Ted, I have started the process of accepting what is here and now. I have been given a massive opportunity to share my life with a child. My body will come back to me eventually and most importantly I am so very productive, it is just on the inside as I grow a human life. This kind of creating is different for me. It's internal, it's not about putting my energy out into the world but pulling in, reserving my strength for the creation of life. It is so powerful that I have had to redefine my daily practice completely. I see over and over again how situations can feel intolerable, but is often my own resistance that makes them so.
I realize more and more that this pregnancy has been the greatest teacher I have ever had. It has been the most awakening Yoga practice my body has ever endured. I am still practicing to be present with it, to accept my strange new shape and quiet energy levels. It is my new classroom.
Tuesday, April 24, 2012
This by far has been the longest break I have ever taken not only from writing but from my physical practice. I am now a little over six months pregnant and feeling so many new things (the baby kicking is by the far the most rewarding and bizarre). I look forward to sharing some of my journey that has humbled me and overall kicked my ass in the past 6 months. Funny that right after I wrote about creating space for new experiences I get pregnant!
For those of you who attend HOM Yoga and my classes at Yogaworks I will be back in September teaching group classes. I have missed it so very much.